Braz

Argh!

2006-02-24T08:12:00.000-08:00

So... life has taken some unexpected turns on me this week. From having nearly perfect days, to today, hwen I was practically incapable of removing myself from my bed, exhaution I suppose, I have not been sleeping well, so... yeah, just thought I"d say myblurb. TTYL
Braz

So?

2006-02-05T08:54:00.001-08:00

Who'd a thought... a party a group circling me, cheering my name=one happy guy, dancin (my freestyle breakdancing without moves). Honestly, I didn't think something like that was posible, but you know, life has its ways to surprise even those most wary. And further more, I can tank beer....en masse! Hahaha but unfortunately I like only imported beer- Hiney and Corona. Hehe, well they sure know how to party here. But I gtg, ttyl.
Braz

So?

2006-02-05T08:54:00.000-08:00

I must hold to what I deem as wise.

2006-01-13T09:32:00.000-08:00

This is as much as putting my thoughts to paper as a normal journal.
I find myself at anj important crossroads in my life.... I must decide whether to continue as I try now, to keep a balance between physical and mental strength, or to favour one. I find that I wonder what the world shall become, and simply put, a place where it is not necessary to be strong of body, but strong of soul and mind. With new technologies limiting what the human body can really present as an advantage, the minds importance grows evermore. What I need is a confidant, someone 17 or 18, intelligent in some way and willing to chat about such things that would bore many of my friends in Alberta, (no slight intended). As I am in Québec right now, I see finding such a person close by a damn good idea, first for the fact I must convey my thoughts in a different language, and the fact that a long distance relation of the sort would be taxing, (in more than money... (effort to stay with it)). So, it was nice to move in with a family who has a hockey playing son, and a hot chick of 14 years, but they are simply that, a family, and any who know me, know how I regarded family in Alberta, (and now I believe one can only have one true immediate family, as I'm sure Tom and Patty can understand now wher my favour lies, and why.) So I will see what I can do to find someone, or maybe a confident from both sides, as I have nearly unwittedly accomplished 20 minutes ago, (I asked a girl if she would enjoy playing hockey with me, it is open.) So I have to go. Wish me luck and call me at 1-418-926-2453 at any time and I can call you right back with a handy calling card, (1.8 cents a minute anywhere in canada). The company would be welcome more than something like a comment here.

Broke

2006-01-13T06:07:00.000-08:00

I will be living in Quebec broke for the next 6 monthes thanks to my ditz of a mother.
That was the truth as of last night. I thank the lord I have someone with sense in my family, my Dad Tom, and his wife, my mother Patricia. Thanks guys for anything you might be able to dfo to help.

So

2006-01-12T09:34:00.000-08:00

Braz
So, I need a computer of my own the soonest possible! The earliest without help is, if my mother will be capable of paying me the $5000 she owes me, the second week of July, but I being a realist, have my doubts. She is horrible when she has the green in hand, cuz it ain't going to last. I want to change my banking all to my Dad in Lloydminister, but I don't know exactly how to get that ball moving safetly. Everytime I talk to my mother and the fact that I don't trust her comes up, I get a lovely guilt trip. SO a change from the outside is necessary, meaning this is a petition. Save my money before it is all gone, cuz the $5000 grand for this year is gone too, (denise has withheld my $300 every 4th of the month and when I ask for it, she says I will give you all I have at the moment, $25) Lovely, huh. TTYL

I have life!

2005-12-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

So, I changed host families, for the best. Right now, listening to Sympathy For The Devil, and I think it is about that time to say, or shout if you will, I'M BACK! Yes, I have returned from the shell and can be myself, which has changed for the best as well. I am tired, (I was shopping in Québec city today) But yeah, just so everyone knows, I'm good, and happy for once. And I might get a cell phone, hehe. But yeah, Have a happy new years everyone.

Quote

2005-11-29T09:58:00.000-08:00

Lifes a bitch and then you die.

A Grave Problem

2005-11-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

Braz
If one is brought up believing an adult is always correct, like I was, how is that person to know if they are ever correct when an adult is not. I condemn my mother for giving me her unpleasant flaws and making a mess of me when she had the chance. I had always said, "As first born, I was a guess and check chil¸d, one which the parents would have to attepmt to parent and correct as they go." Thus, a conglomeration of mistakes in only one mortal coil. Who now can I turn to? Well the answer is obvious and logical and a basic level, but can make sence to one of a more developped mind as well, hey children can be right too. If she has made nothing but a mess of me and promises much the same, her opposite must be correct, thus I have began distancing from my mother, and am closer than ever with my stepfather.

A person, one would assume, needs 1 father and 1 mother to depend on, and as my mothers new husband has stated plainly his distaste for me, I can trust they not suffice.

A Dark Poem

2005-11-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

As I came from the darkness I thought I would never break, the light, it burnt my eyes. Yet in mere moents I could see and understand the contrasts of shades and the different colours of the world. Many needed a name and thus I gave them so. The shades, they were difficult, but the extremes as they were came to me: truth and lies, love and hate, right and wrong, generousity and theft, pain and pleasure, good and evil, and many more. But now I see these as mere shades as balck and white. The shroud has fallen and I am no longer blind, the world is uncensored, and I can become of my own mind. I now search for the truths that I so dearly lacked. As a newborn pup eagerly races to discover his surroundings, I must learn of mine and make up for what time I spent in the dark.

Poetry or Philosophe, it matters not, the messages are clear enough.

2005-11-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

Braz: I Must Be Patient
I sink further within myself as I come to believe my chance of leaving that place dwindles. I will leave, one way or another. It makes me feel so fake, that in the morning, I must put on a facade that must be pleasing enough to suit the mother of the house. They expect me to change who I am for them. That will not happen. I am "macho" and the mother doesn't approve, and thus seaks to change me!I do not like being smothered by conversation, yet she seaks to make me, "in her eyes" more socially active. In my life, I have always been less than whole at home, but here, I can see not a fraction. And whats more, I have no one I can talk to on a relaxed basis, Marie-Pier is convinced she loves me, the mother is much too overbearing, Marcellin, the father, I can never understand him, so when I make an effort to converse with him, the most simple of ideas are lost to his unmoving lip. Technically I could wait until march to see Xavier, but beings he is 24, I doubt very much that it is a worthy cause to remain. I laughed at the expression Roxanne had the time Jean-Francois, (Roxanne 22 yrs, hot host sister who lives in québec city, Jean-francois, 24 yrs, host brother, university Rimouski) suggested I be her boyfriend, and I haven't lived 17 and a half yrs and become capable of reading body language better than books. Thus I laughed at her shallowness and now of how hopeless my situation is.

Hope-I used to say, "Hope is an excuse one can use to just wait for a miracle to come and make their dreams come true, thus I believed hope was for fools." In that case I was right, but I find that hope is the last lifeline one can grasp before they become lost, in a personal battle or the like. In that context, it is also simular to waiting, but for one that has no other choices other than to wait and hold on to some thing to keep them holding on during that wait.

Hope can be taken advantage of like anything good in the world, but it is important to remeber also, their exists no good without evil. Thus, I bide my time as my meeting with my co-ordinater is this weekend and hope for a miracle to grace me, whether by my use of keen diplomacy runs smoothly or just a final decision of change without anger. I care not for the means that can get me that end, but I will try a calm route first as always, best to look the pascifist at first and lose and move up in force after than to use all guns off the start and have no chance of a peaceful ending.
To some, I may seem selfish, and I don't blame them, of what I have written, very little would put a fleck of paint on the canvas let alone paint a complete picture of how it has truly been. To others, like me, believe me to have been a doormat and have finally picked myself up. And to many, I am a fool lost worried in a shell of nothingness.

I Must Be Patient

2005-11-01T10:11:00.000-08:00

Like hell, but I have no choice, so I must. I now must wait for an all too important e-mail, detailing my next family in Québec. It is unnerving, but already much of my confidence that I lost while I was down, seems to be returning, and all that I had learned during that time comes to mind quickly now. It is funny, at the beginning of October, I was told that it would yake 2 and a half monthes to be speaking legitimate french, and here I am, "A challenge, for me? Why thank-you" and I am now ahead of schedule and some and keeping sufficiant knowledge of the english language as well. Many can not see the truth in the saying, if you put your mind to something, there is no way you won't accomplish. But I have to say, I feel as if I have never felt this good in my life and that is likely because I do not have the negative influence of Mathew and TJ from Stettler at my back everyday, thus I am free to see the world through fresh and unknowing eyes, thus quickly losing any innocence one like me had held onto. Ignorance was bliss, but reality is a challenge, and thus I am obligated by my nature human or other, to meet it and succeed indefinately.
Life, the longest challenge. I also have begun again, my odd written bits of philisophe, which seem to be improving as my eyes see more than just Alberta, or even canada for that matter. Although I can not remember the quote, I can say that I must attribute any of my newborne revelations to my french teacher in stettler, for she with her guidance to the program and a certain quote from Mark Twain in her classroom, I am now able to see beyond the narrow vision binding that my family, my provincial government, and stereotypes rest so strongly on all that have not the knowing that there is more than what is revealed to you, even now, what you learn in school, there is more truth to be found, and with this experiecne one can know where to find the truth and how. And understand why at all the truth even matters. But I must go, I have much to learn in such a short ammount of time and only so many opportunities will become available. Take well from this, and know that, there isw an entire planet to be seen and only one lifetime to do so, so time is of the essence, and must be properly managed if one wishes to attain happiness. From this I wish that I can touch the hearts and inspire those who dain to read my views, but beyond that, the future is for you and you alone to control. What you learn is what you want to learn.

Farce

2005-10-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

My god, correct me if I am wrong, a real simulation, means that the goal is to survive a situation in which all variables to the setting are the same as they would be in real life! I believe so! And that is why I believe I have nothing but lazy dumbasses in my economics class. I am Vice President of Marketing and have some influence with my words, but there is the fact I am just learning the language my associates use, which takes from that. My enterprise has decided that everyones salary in our enterprise will be the same, $7.00\hour.... I say bullshit, this is a real life simulation for entreprenuership and you are going to nullify the realism straight off the bat. Wow, have fun with that one. I will be helping the other enterprise from now on and I will be getting paid.... I talked to their president 5 minutes ago. But that is total shit. And an answer I just got was... in Québec we don't care.... so in Québec, those who we presume have an interest in actually learning about the economy, can be considered lazy people who don't want to learn after all. Wow, I am not going down on this. My services will go to the other enterprise if I can, I'll buy their shares and just be the overall VP, (for our enterprise, their is only President, then VP for administration, marketing, production, finances, and human resources) So I will see to myself and they can go down in a ball of flame while I help the other team. TTYL, going to talk again to the other pres. Wish me luck

Fuckin Christ Almighty, In A Past Life I Must Have Really Pisssed You Off

2005-10-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

Braz
A guys worst nightmare, the ugly teenager that likes anyboy that is a doormat, likes them, and thus a girl that is a cross between a hippo and a beaver, (the teeth are consistant) has given me a letter, she thinks she loves me. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
OK but seriously, argh! I hate being nice! The good guys always get screwed over in the end huh? But yeah, other than that, there are two normal girls that are also hinting at wanting to hang out with me in a more personal way. But yeah, I forgot to say this wierd chick that likes me, she is my host sister that I must live with for the next year. I hate people that think just because I give them the bloody time of day, they take that as me saying I am interested!
People like that suck ass. they should keel over so we can laugh at their helplessness in society. But yeah, besides the overall kreepiess of my host family situation, not much else poses a problem. Hehe, but yeah, the chicks that like me are like me in that they have nearly infinite energy and thus are sporty. Pretty cool but I don't want to get in too deep with a relationship here, even if I want to return here after grade 12 in Alberta,(I have a chance for cheap education and 3 diplomas, hehe, cheat the system hey) But yeah, so I got to get to class, so keep it real.

OK

2005-10-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

Braz
Ok, so I have to say this past weekend was the best I have had since I got here, and then some. I got to watch two great hockey games in which the home team lost the first 5-4 (and yes it was good, the opponents were the second best in their division of 10) and that was friday night. I got to go with a friend of mine who, like everyone else here loves hockey. Saturday I believe was the day that I got to watch two awesome NHL hockey games, the 5-4 Montreal Canadians win over Toronto and the 4-3 Oiler win over vancouver, (Go Torres!) Sunday I got to watch the Québec Remparts second home game of the weekend and it was a doozy. An 8 to 3 win over the Rimouski Oceanics, and the best part was the last 30 seconds of the match.... Of course the Oceanics were a little tiffed at their big loss, so of course, all the Rimouski players on the ice at the final horn tried starting ghts for suspensions... didn't work.
Now let take a minute to describe where me and my friend that I was with Sunday were sitting. Right beside the Oceanics bench, right next to the glass. At the end of the game Yannik and I were elbows over the glass taunting the oceanics with relative ease in french, because logically when one learns a language, one learns those words first. The first player to try going to his bench, tried hitting Yannik in the head with his hockey stick, missed and clipped his hand. We would not stop there, and so the next player to come by forgot the rhyme, (third times a charm) and tried the same, slipped, landed face first on the ice, and broke two teeth out of his god-damned head and was bleeding moderatly. Now I must say, if 8 goals are not enough to get a crowd rowdy, that sure as hell was! I had to plug my ears for like 30 seconds, it was phenominal.

Monday, Thanksgiving, no celebration for me cuz the mother was sick, but hey what do I care, I got to watch a fucking awesome football game! The edmonton eskimos 17-14 win over the Toronto Argos, Davis with 115 yards rushing in his first eskimo appearance, and a 65 yards td return by good ole Tommy Tompkins. oh and did I mention another win.

Sports weekend, would understate the true name of said event. It was godly.
And anybody not living in Québec who can speak relatively good french, get your ass in gear and pick up the french course that gives you level one bilingualism and finish school in Québec, much much much cheaper than most western provinces and if you want course in english its+$1000, so learn up and save! There are some kick ass CEJEPs here as well. A great idea for those willing to go the distance.

ALL THOSE THAT READ THIS BIT AT THE END.... PASS IT ON TO ANYBODY WHO'LL READ IT!

Lifeblood

2005-10-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

Braz
So, when the NHL was down, the loss of hockey was devastating to me, but there was nothing I could do to connect to hockey otherwise so it was ok. But when I live in a house that has only four goddamned channels and doesn't even like NHL hockey, I claim blasphemy and walk out the door. No that is not the reason I want a family change but it doesn't make this family and household anymore inviting. I mean I don't know if I can survive without seeing NHL hockey... it is my life blood, my first religion, and my prayer service all in one. And I am to say, excommunicated at the whims of my family. A priest would not stand for such, I will niether. I must act quickly though and decide... whether I want to continue at this school and not be able to play any sports, or change to a family near Québec and hope for a better sports system. But I would leave behind a few good friends and a possible relationship. I need advice.... hey, even the big guns get knocked down (jk) well I wish everyone a good finish to the week.

Right ON!

2005-10-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

Braz
So I have this awesome and simple class in my school called economics, being Albertan, it is naturally simple, but the best part is, we have started a project that will last half the year... my class must start an enterprise and succeed in simulations, there were 15 positions up for grabs and there is 30 students and I got Vice President of Marketing.... I love it! just where I can succeed and grow huh. It may be a simulation but a helpful one. My suggestion to anyone, start reading The Globe and Mail Careers section, not what you expect, but very very eyeopening and helpful. Well I have to start my positional duties next class so wish me luck. Braz for VP worked hah! Who'd a thunk it. lol ttyl

To follow the desires of the heart, is it folly or not, or are such yearnings nothing more than an obstacle for the mind?

Hey

2005-10-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

Braz
well I am going to see about just changing to another family in the area here and it looks like a girl I know has already asked her family to see if I can move in with them.... hmmm, what is on her mind. But yeah, life will be hell until then, the usual, cuz Yannik moved to Québec city last night and now I am alone with the family. But yeah, I only have 20 minutes left on my phone card and really nobody has given me numbers except my family, so there is really no point to asking for numbers again. But yeah, this should prove to be an interesting month, cuz the other family that would have me, the father is a kick ass gym teacher here, only about 28 I think. Wicked but I'll have to play it safe. Hope to talk to some of you soon.

Party hardy and take it in, for when the night is your the women will know my name!

So...

2005-09-29T06:25:00.000-07:00

Another day in the shell that is my home here in Québec. I must stay in said home for at least another month, which sucks, but I hope this will give metime to better get to know one that I find I care about. I don't know how to go about talking to her, I am still a god-damned coward, which sucks ass, but I'll figure it out. But yeah, if any whom read this would like to leave their phone numbers, I would be glad to talk, I get very very cheap rates. TTYL

Braz
To follow the desires of the heart, is it folly or not, or are such yearnings nothing more than an obstacle for the mind?

So...

2005-09-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

I can't get a family change fast enough. The host mother is not right in the head, we must eat both food and inhale smoke at dinner time and I can't eat as much anymore. I miss beef. But yeah, I have made a couple close friends and will be hanging out with one this weekend. So that should be nice. One thing that rocks about Québec that is much better than in Alberta, next to no females are overweight, I'd say about only 10% is, as compared to the chicks that are at my school, this is heaven for the average nerdy male. Yet, that stage is over and I now have a healthy balance of athlete, genious, and ladies man going here, and it isn't a facade. So I believ I have finally found myself... smart, strong, and knows how to have a good time. But I can't help wanting to return to Alberta just to finish school and play football... which would be fricken awesome. I've already started my personal training routines and I will see if I can get some coaching from the gym teacher here. Well I gotta get ready for léducation physique, ttyl peoples.

Party Hardy, Take It In, for when the night is young the women will know my name!

It's Been A While

2005-09-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

So, I finally will return to updating my blog as long as I can use the comps at school. Cuz my host family doesn't have a comp and it would be too expensive to send mine here. But yeah, school is very interesting here, 13 years of school and manditory english. But yeah, I have to get to my Media class pretty soon, so talk to you guys later I hope. I am always on e-messenger at lunch time if I use a comp and btw, between alberta and here, there is a 2 hour time difference. lol
ttyl

So...

2005-08-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

Braz
As I can pretty much tell no one is seeing this journal I will just discountinue it and that will be all. Have fun everybody, and hope to chat with you soon.

Salut!

2005-08-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

Braz
So, I know I missed yesterdays blog so here is my two day recap. Yesterday I had to wake up and go to school for a french exam. I did very badly on it and I am in the lowest class. The pathetic thing is I did the test when I was very very nervous and had no memory of my french. So now I am in a shitty fuckin kindergarden french class full of people from Brazil who could care less about their french. Today in class, the first full class, I asked my teacher, the same teacher I did my tests for, if I could per chance be moved up. WHAT A BITCH!!! She said I belong in this class, when I very clearly can outmatch the bumbling idiots in my class. AS YOU CAN TELL, THIS PISSES ME OFF. But even better, I spend the day hanging out with an american a german and two Brazilian chicks, the two chicks from Brazil would only speak in fucking portugeuse, so naturally one would be angry at this sign of outright disrespect, as all three of us guys asked them to at least talk in French so we could partially understand them. But no! They must've been too good for French or english.ARGH! All in all my day has been shit, Ficktish has become handy though. Ficktish= fuck you in German BTW and to top it all off I have to go to some museum, The Museum of William Price, and I just had to try to explain this fucking thing, alors je suis fache!!!!!

Quizzes from Tiffany

2005-08-07T14:43:00.000-07:00

Braz
You scored as Satanism.

Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

Satanism

83%
Buddhism

75%
Paganism

67%
Judaism

54%
Christianity

50%
agnosticism

50%
Islam

46%
atheism

21%
Hinduism

17%

You scored as Loner.

Loner

56%
Drama nerd

50%
Punk/Rebel

44%
Geek

31%
Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

25%
Stoner

13%
Ghetto gangsta

6%
Goth

0%

You scored as Soft.

You are nice and soft, you love everyone and everyone loves you, while you are fiery or too exciting, you are always pleasant.

Soft

69%
Hot

56%
Sweet

44%
Exciting

31%
Shy

25%
Awkward

6%
Wet

6%
Violent

0%

You scored as Labret Piercing.

You probably intimidate a whole lot of people without really meaning too. If people could just get past the many tattoos, piercings, and sideburns I'm sure they'd love you. Or still be scared, who knows.

Labret Piercing

100%
Dirty Piercings

80%
Lip Piercing

80%
Cartilage Piercing

70%
Tongue Piercing

60% Nipples
60%
Nose Piercing

50%
Earlobe Piercing

40%
Belly Button Piercing

30%

So... I'm in Quebec

2005-08-07T14:23:00.000-07:00

Braz
I'm in Quebec and loving it. I met up with 38 German students and 15 Brazilians. I am the only Canadian.
Hehe, a couple of the Brazilian chick have taken a liking to me, which is kick ass (ps, all the Brazilian chicks for some reason are all good looking, what luck hey?) Yeah, so from Montreal we had to go on a five hour bus ride to Jonquiere, two people had to go in a seperate van with two of the co-ordinators, I volenteered, then a Brazilian chick did, that trip was the best ever, as you can imagine in a dark van at night can only be. But I have to say I do miss my friends, but the bonuses this opportunity this trip allows are worth it. hehe as those who know me can only imagine what I mean. But I must get ready for tomorrow, a french test to place us at one of three levels, I will most likely dumb down to stay with Patricia in the lowest level so we can hang out, but I think I'd end up there anyways. (the Brazilian students know english better than their french) So, I`ll keep this as my journal from now on and hope you guys enjoy it. ttyl and wish me luck.

Sooo.....

2005-06-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

Braz
So apparently one of my friends from Big Valley is being sent to a group home. He is leaving when I move back to Big Valley. rotten luck hey? But yeah, I have decided I am a big time fool and there are those who will undoubtably agree with me. I find that I am also very vain, which sucks, cuz I hardly have that much in my life worth bragging about. But eh, I am full of flaws, and sales are down, come and get one when you can get down here.

Well...

2005-06-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

So...

2005-06-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

The Weekend

2005-05-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Braz

May Long

2005-05-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

Braz
I can't wait until tomorrow fter school. Not just because it will start the new long weekend, but because I get to go see Tiff and she is coming back to Big Valley with me, and then we are hopefully going to go camping with some other friends of mine in Drumheller. WOOT FRICKEN WOOT!!!!!11121211221!!!!!!

OK OK maybe I over did it but what can I say.... I'm excited!

So

2005-05-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

Braz
So that didn't exactly work right but eh. I have been having such a busy time, this last weekend I went to Drumheller with a couple of friends when I was exhausted and went swimming. I am soooo tired now and missed school Monday to stay home and sleep. Can't wait til this weekend though, I am supposed to be meeting up with Tiff and other friends to go camping in Drumheller, but my family wants to meet too. May god bless her soul if she has to spend more than 20 minutes in that house. But eh, hope to talk to everybody soon.

Braz

2005-05-12T20:45:00.001-07:00

Braz
001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I like olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby .
018. I have been to another country.
019. I carry my knife/razor/whip/whatever weapon you want here everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart .
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it was 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair .
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.(CANADA!!!)
034.I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty .
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent...
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I have random singing outbursts.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would cla ssify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my diary.
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly .
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone.
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. I own the "South Park" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on OD.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love my best friends.
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
092. I'm obsessive and often a perfectionist.
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career .
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome!
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. I have had a crush on someone you have never met. (at least MOST of you have never met.)
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think Lord of the Rings is one of the best movies/books ever written.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "The O.C."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering from a broken heart.
116. zzzzZZZZZzzzzzz
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname.
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.(i was indecisive on this one...)
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong boys, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. Done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis. ( if i did i dont remember)
139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.
141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a pornographic videotape. (dont worry-- no nudity)
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I love Dr. Pepper.
147. I'm a programmer.
148. I can't explain why I'm unhappy at times.
149. I own and have read all the Harry Potter books.
150. I like to smell my own hair.
151. I carry a book with me almost everywhere I go.
153. I have flown to a different country to see a band.
154. Been hospitalized for "mental issue".
155. I have survived totaling a car I was driving.
156. I am addicted to Manga/anime.
157. Somehow I always seem to get myself into trouble.
158. I have dated someone for longer than 2 years
159. I have been hit by flying Eric Szmanda spittle. (when i was sslither)
160. I have lived in three different countries.
161. I have tattoos.
162. I have lost someone I cared about deeply.
163. I am not human until I have had some form of caffiene.
164. I can't use can openers.
165. I went to the emergency room last night.
164. I know all the words to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song.(I am such a loser)

Braz

2005-05-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

My Revelation

2005-05-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

Braz
I wrote this poem to explain my recent revelations in a round about way. It is total crap but it is the first copy so, that is what should be judged... it does not do my revelations any justice but jere it is.

I see the portal, the end is near
I may finally see the otherside
yet as I approach I feel no different
I had come to expect some immediate change
but of course, I was always changing, slowly but surely
What I saw as a portal became a hill
one that I knew I must climb
My goal, to reach the summit
Today, I realize, that the hill has leveled off
It has been a long climb to the top...

I am at the top now, though I can not see far in
front of me I will always be able to look back
Because I have completed the journey of childhood.
I am now an adult.

Boredem Strikes

2005-05-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

Braz
So, I was bored this morning in English class... and oddly enough I felt the urge to write out my goals in life.... Yeah, creepy I know, ut shit happens and here they are:
Learn to play the violin well
Work one full year on my grandparents farm
participate in Katimavick
Join a political party and represent a constituency or other politician
Coach soccer for a couple years
join a Rotary Organization
Take Postsecondary educ.to further French/Music skills,politicalcareer
Learn to cook well
Prove Myself fully bilingual
Have a family and kids
Make a great life for my kids and perfect parenting

woot!^_^

2005-05-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

Braz
3 days until my birthday! I'm excited... I guess... oh wait... not realy... But oh well it'll be nice, going out tenting with another friend for their bday party and we'l split the party for both of us.
My present... free drinks

Wow

2005-05-10T06:33:00.000-07:00

Braz
I am in such a great mood and I'll put it into percpective for you.
I feel as if a portal that seperates the age of aodolesence and the adult world has been opened before my eyes and I now am climbing through...
Wish me luck

I'm Back From Ottawa

2005-05-05T16:28:00.000-07:00

Braz
Well, in a way it is nice to be home, but I would have rathered not to go at all. I tried the part of the loner, making friends with only those that there would be a distinct possibility of seeing them again. But on the last night before we left, at the Much Music Dance Party, dumb me went and got to know a girl from Cape Breton. and then we had to leave I realized how retarded doing something like that would be, but you know. Life is a bitch and the you die. And I have always wondered how many times life has to be a bitch before I do die. But gotta run. I need sleep.

Ottawa Bound

2005-04-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

Braz
So, I have to get up at 3:30 tomorrow morning to catch my plane from Calgary tomorrow at 8:00. It'll be a four hour and twenty minute flight, (they only serve food when the flight takes more than 4 and a half hours, damn terds) But I hope everything goes well. Won't be able to talk to anyone for a few days, unless I get lucky of course.
I miss you Tiff and hope you have a great weekend. Talk to everyone soon. Bye

Braz

2005-04-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

Braz
Well, three more days of school, ten more hours of work and three sleeps and I'm of to Ottawa. I can't wait. And the fact that when I come back, it will only be a month until conference. woot fricken woot
But now I have to write an essay about youth today, for first class this morning. So... Have a great timeand ttyl.

Braz

2005-04-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

Braz
Well, it has been an interesting week to say the least. From attempted suicide to breaking down, it has been wild. I think all I need now is a good long sleep. Hope to talk to everyone soon.

Braz

2005-04-22T22:11:00.000-07:00

Braz

Hey, I just finished my first day at my new job and I am tired. Hope to talk to you guys soon.Bye

Hell on earth!

2005-04-19T18:26:00.000-07:00

People are ignoring me, my life is going in one downward spiral and I've already attempted suicide this weekend. Apparently 5 tylenol fives can't kill me. I need to know where me and Tiff stand and want to talk to her soon. This is all going to kill me. And the odd thing is, I am not having the worst time of it. I also hope nobody will miss me when I eventually do succeed and am gone forever.
Braz

TUXIS

2005-04-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

TUXIS was rockin this weekend, but saying good-bye was really hard for me. Yes I know I shouldn't have, but I shed many a tear on that day. My love out to Tiffany.
Braz